I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
