Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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