not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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