addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
