youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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