I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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