Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
