Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
