is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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