hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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