You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
