Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
