So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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