i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
