i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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