She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize
