It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
