so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
