what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
