Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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