Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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