Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I have post one night stand depression
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