Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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