If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
