Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
