I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
