so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
