HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
