the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
