I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
