Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
