sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
