it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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