the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
