Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
