Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
