Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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