The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
