shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
