And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
