she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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