I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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