i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
