Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
