I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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