I looked at my own cervix.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
