Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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