TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
