omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
