there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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