people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
