oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
